Saturday, July 30, 2016

Uncertainty and Probability



Uncertainty

If one has only read this blog, there hasn't been a ton of information provided but that information, on the surface, seems fairly concrete and straightforward. In the initial post, we confirmed the malignancy. In subsequent posts, you were told Dad was undergoing more tests to determine things like the actual size and whether it had spread to local lymph nodes and/or other areas within the stomach. In the previous post, you were told that it, thankfully, has not spread. He now has a chemo regimen which does to his body what chemo usually does to people's bodies.

What is not apparent from the blog is the amount of uncertainty infused in every step of the whole process, haunting every turn, graying any edge of black and white we may hope for.

Cancer, like most unknowns, is a state of affairs we want to get a better picture of and so we administer tests. The only “known” is that something is wrong. Specifically, there was difficulty eating and perceived anemia. The cause of that, however, remained hidden from view. Every doctor’s consultation and every test then became a means to determine the cause of those issues, to unearth the culprit and detail it in all its complexity. We rule out certain things, assess the possibility of other things, etc. etc., all to gain a clearer picture of a very murky reality.

Dad has undergone many tests by now and, while we do know it’s malignant and are fairly certain it’s stomach cancer and hasn’t spread, we are not certain. And for various reasons, the stage is left undetermined. The family, and those close few who have rode the ups and downs with us over the past couple of weeks, and most poignantly Dad, have found this surprising/confusing/annoying. Why do tests not give us the answer? And when they give us answers, why are the answers never clear-cut? What is the point of a test if it can’t tell us what is going on?

Those readers affected by cancer or other medical unknowns are most likely familiar with this awful combination of momentousness and uncertainty.

A more formal way to frame all of this is the following: 1) we believe there to be a state of affairs that is definite, i.e. there is or is not cancer and that cancer is in some particular stage of growth and 2) we administer the testing of various hypotheses to determine the exact nature of that state of affairs to then know how to adjust our actions accordingly to then treat the issue.

But everything that has happened over the past few weeks does not seem to make sense given 1 and 2. After all the tests, we only know it’s malignant and it’s obstructing the junction of the esophagus and stomach. That’s about it. Why did it take 6 tests to determine the kind of cancer and whether it has spread? Why are they still uncertain about the lymph nodes? And connecting all of this, why won’t they stage the cancer?


Staging

Probability is a subset of mathematics that let’s us make better decisions when the given state of affairs or a future state of affairs is unknown; it is a formal methodology for discussing things that are likely or probable, or unlikely or improbable. In matters of uncertainty, it helps us approximate.

Cancer is certainly a state of affairs that involves unknowns and as such probability helps us think about it. Survival rates are given in terms of probability to help us think about the future state of affairs resulting from cancer. Thinking about survival in terms of probabilities, or rates, is probably more intuitive than thinking about whether the current state of affairs is one involving malignant cancer or not. How could it be that we can only ever assign a probability to the reality of cancer? Either there is cancer or there isn’t! Either it is stomach or it isn’t! Either it’s malignant or it isn’t! And yet, that is what happens. At a certain point, a Dr. takes all the relevant data from tests and consultations, and makes a judgment about the cancer and its stage, only with a particular degree of certainty.

One thing we, and our friends and family, want to know is the stage of the cancer, or how far along the cancer is. But the doctors have been reluctant to classify the stage, even after all these tests. We’ve determined malignancy but we want to know the stage of the cancer because staging the cancer gives us a good idea of the survival rates. But what are stages? Cancer growth isn’t like the half-life of a radioactive isotope which decays with a mathematically determinable consistency. We know cancer grows and we more or less know how it grows but we have not developed a method that lets us accurately determine the rate of that growth down to the individual case.

In determining the stage, or how far along the cancer is, there are 3 variables: the main tumor, the spread to lymph nodes, and the spread to other areas within the body. These variables can be assessed along 9, 6, and 2 values respectively. Once these variables are determined, they are combined to determine the stage, from 0 to 4. But those stages have sub-stages, and in most cases, no particular determination of the individual variables necessitates one stage being determined over another. In other words, whether it has spread to lymph nodes, for example, does not mean it is necessarily stage 1B vs. stage 2A or even 2B. Further, it is also the case that, still thinking about the lymph nodes, whether it has or has not spread does not limit it to one stage. So, one could still have stage 2B cancer regardless of the determination of the lymph node variable, so long as other variables have been assessed at specific values.

All of this is a long way of saying staging is a way to think about the progress of the cancer, but it is messy. We can test along the values of the variables, and we can settle on a stage, but even if we’ve settled on the determination of a particular stage, it is never done so with a great deal of certainty.

Staging is usually thought of as buckets the particular case of cancer is or is not in (stage 1, 2, 3, or 4). But as we’ve seen above, it is much more accurate to think of the growth of cancer on a continuous scale from beginning to late stage. Another way to say this is that our categories (4 stages) do not cleanly map the reality of the growth progress of cancer.


Staging Methodology in Light of Probability

Now I want to talk about probability as a way to help us understand the methodology grounding the judgments involved in assessing the various determinations relevant to cancer. I showed above how messy all the determinations are in the case of stomach cancer, but now I want to put that aside and talk simply about the methodology employed in making judgments in situations involving messy determinations.

In determining when something is X or not, we collect as much data as possible and then determine whether X is the case or not. But usually, collecting data only gets us most of the way there. We conduct tests to measure values of the relevant variables but those only work to better or worse degrees and usually don’t provide conclusive results. And so, after collecting the data, we end up at a point where we say, within a statistical framework at least, we believe X to be the case, with a P-value of .05. Here, P-value can be thought of as the likelihood you’re wrong, or that the test was a false positive. In other words, we could say we are 95% sure X is the case. We are forced to say this because, in this case, all our data, combined with the testing framework employed, only gets us close to knowing whether X is the case or not. Of course, being 95% sure of something is a good place to be. Most of us would bet a lot of money if we were 95% likely to win. But it’s not 100%.

It turns out, a lot of things are like the example above. We measure values and acquire data, but we can only be certain up to a degree. Cancer is paradigmatic of this. Tests can produce false positives. So when doctors are trying to determine what stage a given instance of cancer is, they only ever arrive at those determinations with particular levels of certainty. And let’s keep in mind that staging, at least in the case of stomach cancer, is really the result of a combination of 3 variables, which have up to 98 possible combinations. 

The likelihood of a coin coming up heads are 1/2. The likelihood of a coin coming up heads two times in a row are 1/4. So the odds that the tests have gotten the value of each variable correct are small, not only because the individual tests performed only get us an approximate value for a given variable, but also because we are compounding the judgments of multiple tests of multiple variables. Moreover, as we saw above, almost no one value for a particular variable restricts the staging, and the values of the particular variables are only loosely correlated/somewhat independent. 

So if we think back to that continuous scale I mentioned above, suppose the 4 stages are buckets grouping final values from 1-100 on that scale, i.e. values 1-25 are for stage 1, 25-50, for stage 2, etc. Now, if all the values of the individual variables result in a final value of 15, then, in this hypothetical methodology, we feel very confident it’s in stage 1. But, if the final values total 24, we can still say it’s stage 1, but we leave open the possibility it’s actually stage 2, our tests just didn’t give us enough data to accurately assess that to be the case. And I’d hope by now you also understand that me even talking about the staging of cancer as a bucketing of a continuous scale is really just a heuristic and that the distinctions between “stages” are never as clear-cut as going from values of 25 to 26, if only for the fact that the values we’ve arrived at are only believed to be the case with greater or lesser degrees of certainty. In other words, the variables used to help determine the stage have a lot of grey, and the boundaries between the stages themselves have a lot of grey.


Bayesian Probability as a Way to Understand Cancer Testing

My explication above of staging and the methodology that allows a stage to be determined has shown that staging is complicated but the question still remains: why are we testing if the tests can’t help us actually stage the cancer? What are the tests doing if not that? Our common sense thinking about probability leaves us in the pickle of not being able to reconcile 1 and 2 from above; there is a definite state of affairs, and we test to determine that state of affairs, but those tests are not giving us clear answers.

Bayesian probability is another way to think about drawing conclusions in statistical matters. Common sense thinking would say we are testing for X or not X and so a test is either going to confirm or reject X. Bayesian methodology, on the other hand, assigns an initial probability to X and the result of a given test is read in light of that initial probability.

Suppose you came off the street and took a test for cancer and the test came back positive. Also suppose that particular test produces a false positive at a rate of 1 out of every 1000 tests and only 1 in 1000 people have that particular cancer. In this case, WHEN a test happens to say you have cancer, it’s actually just as likely that the test was a false positive as it is that you have cancer. That is because you took a test that has a 1 in 1000 chance of producing a false positive and it was also the case in this situation that 1 in 1000 people have this sort of cancer. But this is why PRIOR information helps us read test results. In a Bayesian framework, if you’re a totally random person coming off the street, with no prior symptoms or history associated with that cancer, as would be in the case above in this paragraph, and the test comes back positive, you really have a 50/50 chance of it accurately diagnosing cancer versus being a false positive, WHEN the test is positive. But in a traditional framework, the 1 in a 1000 chance of having cancer is not factored in when thinking about the fact that the test accurately picks out cancer 999 times out of a 1000.

But of course, most of us don’t take test for cancer randomly. There are usually some symptoms that lead us and doctors to decide to head down the gauntlet of tests required to determine the existence of, and then nature of, the cancer. In my Dad’s case, he had been anemic for awhile, with iron supplements providing little help, and then began to have difficulty in eating.

So why all the tests? Well, tests, once performed, provide us with a better prior probability to then read the next test. And here, this is fairly common sense. If you have 10 tests all saying you don’t have cancer, and the 11th test says you have cancer, you might as well throw it out because it is so much more likely the 11th test is wrong than that the 10 tests are wrong. But Bayesian thinking provides a rigorous framework to reach that conclusion.

Traditional probability would say the same thing but it would be much less certain because it always assumes a purely blind state of affairs. So in that case, you always have a 1 in 1000 chance that the test was a false positive because in traditional probability, you’re always in a random universe. The Bayesian framework does not have a random universe; it always assumes the field is slanted one way. In a Bayesian framework, you could throw the 11th test out even though it’s only a 1 in a 1000 chance it was a false positive. Again, it is because your prior probability is so strong, that the 1 in a 1000 of a false positive is much more likely than the odds that your prior probability is wrong. On the other hand, traditional probability would weigh the initial 10 tests against the fact that a positive test is correct 999 times out of 1000.

It turns out, to spite all this abstract stuff above, this is exactly the framework one doctor used to talk about the potential of a particular test coming back positive. The “final” test Dad underwent down here in Tampa was two parts: 1) a scope of the tumor and stomach, and 2) a sampling of the stomach that’d go off to the lab to see if the tumor was emitting entities in an attempt to spread.

After the test was performed, the doctor said the scope looked so good (there was no sign the tumor was emitting entities), she didn’t need to perform the sampling. And then, and this was the shocking part, she said: “and I wouldn’t know what to do if the sampling came back positive.” Common sense probability would say: What?! If a test comes back positive for the tumor attempting to spread, and it’s extremely unlikely that that test produces a false positive, wouldn’t a positive result for that test be good evidence that it is in fact emitting?!? 

But under a Bayesian framework, her thinking was on solid ground. She was saying, in the very unlikely chance that the test would come back positive, it wouldn’t actually be good evidence that it is attempting to spread, GIVEN all the other evidence she had, and regardless of how unlikely a false positive would be.

And I’d like to point out that this isn’t some abstract thought experience in a text book, or some line of thought without consequence. Her approach led to the very real real-world result of not performing that 2nd part of the test.

And this is where we see the power of probability.

We are limited beings, both in space and in time. Some things are certain, others less so. Where we would like to see black and white, we often are left with grey. Empirical work, gathering evidence, is one way to break down some of those limitations and define a few more of those edges. But even gathering evidence can only go so far and so we use statistics to push those limits out even further, if ever so slightly, and to maybe even remove a bit of the grey in the world, if only occasionally.

Dad started Chemo earlier this week. The stage of his cancer is still unknown.

Friday, July 29, 2016

Special friends

God certainly has blessed us with special friends/ family (and their dog) in our lives!!
Jim is sleeping in his chair and has no idea the lot is getting mowed. He worked today until 11:00. I'm sure this weekend will be a whole lot of resting going on.

May you all have a blessed weekend.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Rough couple of days

Chocolate protein shake with peanut butter, banana and avocado that's what's for dinner. That's if he wakes up to drink it:(

Jim went to work yesterday morning, came home for lunch and stayed. He's really struggling with being nauseated with some vomiting and feeling weak. He never made it to work today...his chair has felt pretty good with a lot of sleeping going on. I picked up another med this evening that hopefully will help.

Please pray for these awful side effects to disappear.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Day 1 of chemo

We arrived at the hospital by 8:15. First on the agenda was to get some education about chemo, then to Dr Khan's office to pick up chemo pills, and  back to the infusion room. Jim was hooked up to meds and there we sat , drip, drip, drip until the bags were empty.
We got home by 2:30, ate some lunch,  then it was time for a rest.

Jim was a little nauseous this evening but took a pill, had a protein shake and feels better.

Thanks for popping in a little today Katrina!

We are so grateful for your many thoughts and prayers today! You bless us beyond words!

Pray Jim feels well enough to go to work tomorrow and the rest of the week.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Another step towards healing

"Lord I need you oh I need you every hour I need you..."
Jim fell asleep listening to his music. I'm so thankful he finds comfort and peace in songs! Tears...

Friday the port was put in and we were home around 11:30. He hasn't felt very good the last couple of days which is not too surprising with being under anesthesia 6+ times in the last few weeks and pain meds last week.

Yesterday he couldn't eat much and took numerous naps throughout the day.

This morning we went for a walk and now after a protein shake and shower it's naptime.

There's a change in chemo start date. It will be Tuesday instead of Monday.

Prayer request:
That chemo side effects will stay to a minimum.
Chemo will shrink the tumor.
That we will not let fears and anxiety have a part in our lives...only peace and grace.

We are so thankful for all you prayer warriors! God's blessings on each one for your love and support!

Friday, July 22, 2016

Another procedure

Once again under anesthesia for the 6+ time in a month.

Beautiful sunrise

Oh Lord oh Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth! I read this in the psalms this morning and then was blessed with this beautiful painting.

We are at the hospital to have the port put in.

Please keep us in your prayers as we take each step for healing.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Life changes

My office a few days this week is Mom and Dad's house. It's quiet and spacious smells like home.

But in the same house with the same smells, furniture, and people, there is an unmistakable sense of business and urgency, which is rather foreign and frankly not all that Hooverlike. It's impossible to miss the neat stacks of forms, bills, and reminders to call various 800 numbers covering the kitchen counter. "Clinic." "Anesthesiologist." "Medical foundation." "Financial counselor." On the end table next to the recliner: more stacks. On pads on the computer desk: more phone numbers. It's a project.

Dad comes home for lunch but only manages to get down half a cup of mac and cheese (now laced with eggs for extra protein) before abruptly stopping to mix a baking soda water chaser and dispose the remaining contents of his plate. He bounces back to work with a chilled chocolate Boost in hand for later. A couple weeks ago he was eating ribs, but there seems to be less room now. It is time for treatment.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The port is to be put in Friday at St Joe med center. It seems the surgeons in our area all have a busy week so couldn't get it done earlier:)

Chemo will start Monday.

Some of you have ask about Jim working and eating.  Yes he has been going to work when he doesn't have appointments or tests to do.  Overall he feels pretty good.  He needs to eat small amounts at a time and several times a day as there's not much room in the stomach with the tumor taking up space. Bread and meat is about the only things right now he can't eat. He needs calories and protein to prepare his body for chemo when/if he's not able to eat much.  The nutritionist told us to get creative with protein drinks and milkshakes.:)

Oncologist appointment

Jim had labs done to start with then we met with the Dr. Talked about the treatment and what we need to get done before that starts.
This afternoon we go for an Echo.

The nurse is working on setting up an appointment with a surgeon to put the port in and the chemo schedule. Dr wants to start chemo Friday.

We are looking at 3 cycles of chemo (63 days) scans, surgery and another 3 cycles of chemo.

This battle is God's... We will let him fight it!!

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
Psalm 62:1-2

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Friday, July 15, 2016

Great news

Jim had his laparoscopy done today. The Dr was very pleased to tell us the stomach wall looks good with no cancer cells beyond the initial tumor. We look to start chemo as soon as possible.

We are spending the night with Chris in Clearwater tonight then fly home tomorrow afternoon.

We are so thankful for the many kind people that made this difficult week manageable!  Also for all you prayer warriors...you are a true blessing to us!

Prayer request:
For safe travels home
That the cancer stays confined to the tumor.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Today's news

This morning we had the consult with the surgeon that will do the laparoscopy tomorrow scheduled for 10:15. She will check for cancer cells around the area and stage the tumor. She decided along with us not to put in the feeding tube as Jim is still able to eat and it can easily get infected, leak etc... If at a later date he needs it we can have a Dr in our area put it in.

The tumor is 13 cm long. It is mostly in the stomach and has grown up into the esophagus a little.

Please be praying for tomorrow that all cancer cells are only in the tumor and have not spread to the stomach walls.

A huge praise is the Dr's have went above and beyond to get us worked in in a short amount of time!!! We have been extremely blessed to have connections to make this all happen!!

Prayer request

Our original plan was to return back home on Saturday. Since the diagnosis was changed from esophageal to stomach cancer that meant a different surgeon than originally planned. Yesterday we were told we couldn't meet with that Dr until Monday and  procedure Tuesday or Friday. We didn't really like that news but are willing to do what we need to for getting the best care.

This morning we got a call...we are meeting with the surgeon at 1:00 today and possibly procedure tomorrow to put in a feeding tube and do a staging laparoscopy.

Today is scheduled procedure for endoscopy ultrasound to look at lymph nodes and depth of tumor at 3:30.

Prayer requests:
We can get all testing done this week.
Clarity and wisdom for the Dr's.
Our family will continue to have peace and grace throughout this journey.

Praise:
Several Dr's from different specialties at elkhart had a meeting this morning and after looking at all the images and reports have come to the the same conclusion as the Dr's at Moffitt. We are thankful they are on the same page!

God is definitely going before us paving the way!

Encouragement

1Corinthians 1:9
God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

The God who leads us is ever faithful. That’s why you and I can confidently carry out His plan, even when it surprises us. 
- Charles Stanley 

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

News from Moffitt

This may leave more questions than answers for everyone, but the appointments at Moffitt were not exactly what we expected today. We were in the first appointment of the day with the radiation oncologist going over what to expect during treatment along with a few other things when the medical oncologist-not scheduled to meet with us until 4:00 pm-came (nearly burst) into the room. Sort of reminded me of those movies where a para-legal or someone busts into a courtroom right before a final witness is called or something. He had reviewed the scans we had from Indiana and he is pretty sure we're dealing with stomach cancer and not esophageal cancer. What? He proceeded to show us on the scans how he was coming up with this and we were able to see that the majority of the tumor is, indeed, located in the stomach. At one point he looked at Dad and asked, "How are you eating?!?" We all had a good laugh at that. I thought, "Well, I suppose one bite at a time but maybe he's figured something else out that nobody else knows about." Obviously, his point was that this tumor is no joke when it comes to size. He and everyone else at Moffitt today were amazing. Not sure on spelling their names so I'll leave them nameless for now.
This shuffled things around a bit, as it will now be a different surgeon we need to talk to. The treatment will also be a bit different, as they would not do radiation prior to surgery. They are attempting to get us an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow to get his or her take on things. What IS scheduled tomorrow is an ultra sound to get some more confirmation so they can properly stage it before proceeding with treatment.
Lastly, we met with a nutritionist to cover some basics for how Dad can maintain as much weight as possible. Lots of protein was the gist of that conversation. They may end up putting in a tube so that when he can't eat much liquids can go straight in to the stomach.
That's it for now.


Starting our day

Today's Devotion

Lamentations 3:22-23
22 The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Indy to St Pete

We drove to Indy last night , spent the night with Shawn, Monica and girls, now waiting on our flight to St Pete, FL.

Tomorrow we have appointments with 3 different Dr's at Moffitt cancer center in Tampa.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Anointing

Jim was blessed today with  anointing and prayer by Pastor Knight and our church elders.
We are greatly comforted and peaceful knowing we have a God who loves us and will guide our steps in the coming days.

--Jerra

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Confirmed


Attempting a photo with five squirmy girls.
After several months of intermittent difficulty swallowing, feeling bloated, and struggling with energy (this is a man who has run 2+ miles daily pretty much since birth, so he knows how it should feel), an upper endoscopy last month to stretch his esophagus revealed a surprise tumor and suspected esophageal cancer.

Several tests and much waiting later, yesterday we met with Dad's oncologist who confirmed the tumor is malignant. He used terms like "large," "ulcerated," "locally advanced," "poorly differentiated," and "not nice." It's real. It will have to be treated soon. The good news is there is currently no visible cancer elsewhere in his body, so surgery is an option.

The next step is a trip to Tampa next week to meet with doctors at the Moffitt Center for a second opinion. After that, assuming the diagnosis is confirmed, we're looking at radiation, chemo, and--if all goes well--surgery.

Thankfully, despite difficulty swallowing some foods, Dad can eat most foods and get plenty of energy and nutrition. Here is polishing off some ribs Jesse smoked and enjoying a lecture on various topics by Sylvie.
Dad is anemic, which is the reason for the sluggish running performance, but he is feeling good and has plenty of energy for everything else in daily life, including playing hoops with granddaughters.