The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Psalm 138:8
Friday, December 16, 2016
So very blessed!!
Back to work...or not
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Home sweet home!
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Heading home
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Dr visit
Friday, December 2, 2016
A morning walk
Thursday, December 1, 2016
No cancer detected!!
Our surgeon walked into the room, held up his arms and said "I think I should get a kiss and hug". We sat there and stared at him! Huh?? I'm feeling awkward and think "is he serious" ?? Then he motions for me to come...he's standing by the computer monitor and says "I want you to see this, read this". So he points to what I need to read. It's the pathology report. To tell you the truth it wasn't even on our radar...hadn't even been thinking about it.
Basically...no cancer detected anywhere!! "The chemo killed it" is what he said. So we high-fived and he got his hug!
I made sure he knew how very much we appreciated him and his expertise. How we have heard nothing but highest praise from his colleagues for what he does and how he genuinely loves his patients. Dr P is a gifted man! Praise God for giving all of us special gifts to bless others with... we give Him all the glory for how he created each one of us.
We picked up some things at the pharmacy and headed home.
Jim is pretty worn out from the outing. Took some pain meds and is eating some of Lindsey's yummy chicken noodle soup (the broth). We need to get the tube feeding set up this evening.
There is a follow-up appointment Tuesday then will make another one for in a month. Lord willing we will go home in the next week or so...depends on when Jim can tolerate traveling.
Thank you so much for your continued prayers!! There is still healing to be done and strength to gain. God's blessings...
Discharged today!
Waiting on Dr to come take the drain tube out and give discharge orders then we will be on our way.
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
A better day
Today is going better with not as many bathroom trips and not quite as weak.
Jim will be on a full liquid diet until the post-op appointment. He will be getting nutrition thru the feeding tube...how much of that will depend on how many calories he is able to get in by mouth.
There is still 1 drain we hope to get rid of before leaving.
As long as today goes well we will get out of here tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Tuesday
Yes we are thankful to not have an infection but Jim still isn't feeling very good. He had a break from the diarrhea this afternoon then it started in again this evening. They did switch out the tube feeding and tonight dialed it back a little. Jim ate some tomato soup and pudding this evening.
He only got in 2 short walks...just does not have the energy to be up much.
It was fun having Lindsey and girls here awhile this afternoon. Macey came in with her Dr coat and bag, Maddie was her nurse that recorded her diagnosis. Nurse Kathy packaged up some medicine cups and syringes for them to take home. We had a fun parade walking with Papa. Dr Macey was tired so she had to ride in the stroller while Melanie walked:) being a Dr is tiring!
I went to eat with Jesse's family then when we got back Chris came to visit.
Praying for a good night. Time will tell what tomorrow will bring.
Tue's morning
Great news...Jim doesn't have an infection! Dr is thinking his body isn't tolerating this particular tube feeding so will try a different one. Jim told them maybe it has Lima beans in...he does not like Lima beans:)
He slept good until around 4 then it's been to the bathroom regularly.
Will be taking out one of the drains this AM, then after trying soup and if that goes well, will get the other one out.
Dr said if the diarrhea can get under control then we may be discharged tomorrow. Nurse thinks that's a bit premature. Need to get the fluids and his body going towards a more positive direction. It's a matter of taking "one day at a time"...
Some of you have ask if Jim had surgery by laproscopy or if he was opened up. He has about a 5" incision.
We did get another walk in late last evening...2 for the day. A big difference from the day before!
Monday, November 28, 2016
Monday
The day didn't start out very good but ended some better.
This morning Jim went for a swallow test to make sure of no leakage at the connection site. That was all good so the NG tube came out of his nose.
Jim was able to get in some good naps throughout the day. The diarrhea is better and still waiting on sample results. Throat feels better by getting the tube out. So far he's munched on ice chips, drank water and Gatorade.
This evening they took away the pain pump and the tubing at his nose that is used for oxygen and to record breathing while on pain meds. It's so nice to have gotten rid of all those!
Only got in 1 walk...tomorrow's another day:) just didn't have the energy today.
I went outside this afternoon for about an hour and then this evening went to eat with Jesse, Lindsey and girls. I feel like I've been totally fine and keep fairly busy but it does feel good to get out and get some fresh air once in awhile.
Praying you all have a restful night.
Prayer request
Jim had a rough night getting up and down all night with diarrhea and being nauseous. Will try to figure it out today to see if it's an infection or body just adjusting to the nutrition.
His throat has been really sore the last few days...thinking that's from the NG tube. He had the swallow test done this AM so hoping that's good, showing no leaks, then the tube can come out.
Right now he's catching up on some sleep.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
God's mercy's are new every morning
I'm out getting some fresh air and sunshine. God has blessed us in many ways and for that we are thankful!
Sunday
You know you're with a runner when...he's says" I think we'll go 2 more laps."
You know you're in a hospital when... you hear... "intestine" "bowel movement" along your walk.
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Sweet visitors
Our sweet little grand daughters came for lunch and visit this afternoon. Oh and their mom and dad too:).
Good to see Jimmy and Janet also.
Saturday
Jim had a great night...slept well.
Yesterday the catheter and epidural came out so his hands are not tied down to anything. The IV goes into the port...the NG tube is still in and should come out Monday after doing a dye test to make sure there's no leaks.
Will increase nutrition today to hopefully get things moving. Incisions all look good. Jim has been walking 6 laps each time out.
We are so thankful for all the nurses and Dr's here!! They have been most helpful with always asking if we need anything, how we (so thoughtful of me too) are doing etc...Kathy a day nurse has really been special to us...she has had 2 little grandchildren at her house for 3 days and hasn't been able to see them since they are in bed when she gets home at night and she leaves before they're up in the morning. She will have the weekend to be with them before they go back home and she is back to work.
Kathy has had such sweet words about our family/grand daughters and is looking forward to meeting Maddie, Macey and Melanie next week.
Thank you all for your continued prayers! I've said it before but will say it again... it has made all the difference knowing so many people love us and are praying, people we know, people we don't know...it doesn't matter.
"And the greatest of these is LOVE"
We feel your love and prayers!!
"May you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Ephesians 3:18-19
May God shower his blessings on you!
Friday, November 25, 2016
New patient
Nurse said whoever is in the bed gets the shot. Jesse thought he could move pretty fast...I'm not so sure.:)
Friday
This morning as Shawn and family headed to the airport, daughter said "we are traveling with broken hearts". Papa said "maybe she needs to come back to the hospital to mend it".
I know it's more about leaving the cousins and that's OK...they had a great/wild time together. It would never be long enough no matter how long they would be together! I know the cousins they left here feel the same.
We will miss them so much...are very blessed that they all were able to be here! Love you so much!!
This morning the first walk was late morning. Went 6 laps...he's gonna wear me out!:) Jim is very faithful with the breathing barometer...this man is most certainly doing what he can to prevent any setbacks!
Had a really good night...slept until awakened by nurse a couple times.
Dr P. sidekicks came in this morning and talked of taking the catheter out and epidural out of back today. Getting rid of tubing little by little. Also since he's getting along with the nutrition so well increasing that from 10ml to 20.
Thursday, November 24, 2016
Happy Thanksgiving!
Good morning! This is the day the Lord has made we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 100:4-5
Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Feeling strong
Walked the "scenic" route 3 times tonight!
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped."
So far so good
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Personal musician
How cool is this? This guy came by and wondered if he could play for us.
When ask, Jim says he's "doing as well as can be be expected". Right now as I write he's doing a breathing treatment. Most certainly don't want pneumonia setting in!
He's been pushing the pain pump regularly trying to keep ahead of the pain. They are going to add iv Tylenol along with the epidural. So far the pain seems to be in the incision area and some in chest area. His mouth is really dry and all he can have is a wet swab in the gum area so you can guess what my job is:)
Tomorrow they will get him up to walk.
Please continue to pray for healing, less pain and some rest tonight. I'm staying the night...they will be bringing in a cot for me.
We cannot thank you enough for the many prayers leading up to today!! We know without a doubt God hears and has answered! He most certainly has blessed us with so many special people that care and love us! And we can never say thank you enough to Shawn, Monica, Jesse, Lindsey and Chris for their love, support, and sacrifices they have made to be here for us through this journey. (The grand daughters are having the time of their lives playing together!!) We love you all so much!!
Post-surgery update
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Blessed day
Yesterday was a fun relaxing day for my birthday (Jerra). In the morning Jim and I went to a park and walked on a boardwalk that went through a swampy area along a river. It always feels good to get out and enjoy the warm sunshine! We saw a baby alligator and some different birds.
Jim pulled into a Starbucks to treat me to a frappe on the way home. He knows I do enjoy those!
In the evening we went to a Japanese steakhouse...Chris met us there. Delicious food and way too much so we get to enjoy leftovers today. After we got home we had pecan pie and ice-cream for my birthday dessert. Delicious!!
We enjoyed listening to pastor Chris Knights sermon from last Sunday this morning in Habakkuk.
Habakkuk 3:19
"The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."
May you all have a blessed Sunday.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
A healthy guy
Yesterday we heard " you are the healthiest patient today...it makes our job so much easier" it sounds like they don't see many people so healthy and fit. The nurse and nurse practitioner for the anesthesiologist remarked a couple times at Jim's good health.
He has gained 20# in the last month! Not many of us would be excited about that but it sure is a good thing for him!
We had hoped to get out of Moffitt around mid afternoon to get some lunch and enjoy the sunshine but that didn't happen. We had meds to pick up at the pharmacy on campus and ended up waiting 1 1/2 hours. They told me wait time would be 30 minutes so we decided we could wait instead of making a trip back to pick them up. Ugh!! I was getting a bit weary, shaky from not eating since breakfast! At least I had a latte about 12:30. Jim had several coffees and a Danish (actually I had one bite of that).
We made 2 stops and got back home around 6. Needless to say it took me a little bit to wind down after eating.
We are to be at Moffitt by 5:15 Tues morning...surgery scheduled for 7:15.
We are looking forward to a relaxing weekend with the family.:)
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Appointments leading up to surgery
Appointments today for business office, blood draw, and consult with anesthesiologist, then we go out into the beautiful warm sunshine and enjoy the rest of the day.
We are so thankful and humbled for the many people praying...just heard today of another group. We know God will bless you all beyond measure for your faithfulness!! We certainly know God is answering your prayers for us with Jim feeling so good, we have a calmness and peace and how God has provided throughout.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Surgery date
We finally have a date!
Tuesday Nov15- fly to FL. Out of Indy
Wednesday Nov16- presurgery appointments
Tuesday Nov22- surgery at Moffitt cancer center
Prayer requests:
*That Jim and I will stay healthy
*safe travels
*That God will calm any anxious thoughts
*asking you to pray for Jim's mother who had Heart surgery today. Praying for healing, strength and no complications so she can go home in the next couple of days.
Friday, October 28, 2016
Heading home
We have a flight booked for tomorrow morning at 8:00 going into Grand rapids, then we will rent a car to drive home. We haven't heard yet when surgery will be.
I've not felt good today with intestinal issues and aching. Please pray I feel better for the trip home tomorrow. Thanks!
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Feeling good
After 3 tests on Tuesday, 1 this morning and the surgeon appointment we are feeling good. It's a go for surgery!
Downside is the Dr's schedule is pretty full... looking at about 3 weeks out. Also it will need to work in another surgeons schedule in case he is needed depending on what they find when they get in there. We will hear from the person that does the scheduling tomorrow or Monday for the date.
Next up is booking a flight to go home, hopefully this weekend.
Asking for continued prayers in scheduling flights, surgery, continued good health and safety in travels.
Oh and Jim gained 10# in 2 weeks!! That's a really good thing going into this type of surgery. Dr is very pleased with him running 2 miles now too.
Thank you all for your love and prayers!
Sunday, October 23, 2016
God's great outdoors
The last couple days we have enjoyed walking on the beach and hiking a trail, all thanks to Chris wanting to get in some workouts, we were able to tag along at a more leisurely pace. It has really cooled down...Friday evening we ate outside at Clearwater beach and it was windy and cool, I was wishing for my sweater before we got done eating. This morning when we started out it was 55*. October is great here! Warm sunshine, cool air.
May God bless and keep you in his care.
Thursday, October 20, 2016
A relaxing week
We've had a good week taking it easy and enjoying the beautiful weather. We've been getting out in the mornings walking and running...Jim ran 2 miles this morning without stopping which made him feel good. The last couple evenings we've went for a leisurely walk. It's so nice outside that its hard to just stay inside.
Jim has been doing some work online and by phone in the afternoons. It's surprising how fast the days go by but I guess it makes a difference when we get a later start to the day.
Tuesday we will be at Moffitt for 3 tests to make sure his organs are good for surgery, then on Thursday morning is another test and appointment with the surgeon. Hopefully surgery will be scheduled at that time.
We are so thankful Jim is feeling pretty normal by now...good energy, good appetite, eating normal.
Please pray for good test results and good health leading up to surgery. Thank you all so much!
Friday, October 14, 2016
The tests that Jim needs to have done to make sure he's able to go through a major surgery are scheduled for October 25. We have decided to stay in FL since it would only be a week at home before coming back. It just doesn't seem worth the time and cost to go to IN and back in a week.
So far the days go by quickly. We are staying with Chris this week and next. We've been going out for some exercise in the morning, Jim is able to do some work online and I have done some cleaning, laundry, embroidery work, reading and whatever else we decide to do.
There's some little granddaughters anxious to spend some time with us so plan to spend Sunday afternoon and evening with them. After the appointments Tuesday afternoon we went home with Lindsey. Jim took a nap and I went with Lindsey and girls to ballet class. That was a lot of fun watching the girls practicing for a Christmas performance.
So we wait patiently..trying not to question the timing of waiting on appointments. May God keep paving the way before us and may we continue to have faith and trust him.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Surgeon appointment
We met with the surgeon this morning. The good thing is the tumor has responded to the chemo...has shrunk and not grown. He will not know until surgery exactly what it looks like or what the extent of surgery will be. The size and location will determine the type of surgery. Both are obviously major, but one will have extra steps which would add to the complexity.
Jim will need to have a few tests done to make sure he's physically fit for surgery, then we will go back to the surgeon after test results are in and hopefully set up the surgery date at that time as long as everything looks good.
Dr encouraged walking and staying active to best help with surgery and recovery. We have been going out to walk/run each day... I do the walking and Jim walks then runs 2 half miles with walking in between.
Surgery needs to be 4-5 weeks after the end of chemo to allow it to all be out of his system and to have full strength back. It has now been a little over 2 weeks.
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Tumor has shrunk
The oncologist said that he did his job...to shrink the tumor. He is pleased with how it looks, so next up is to see the surgeon on Thursday.
A good friend gifted this "faith" bracelet to me and I love wearing it as a reminder. We are truly walking by faith knowing God's got this! We have no doubt he has answered many of your prayers on our behalf.
Prayer request...
*To have surgery as soon as possible
*That Jim's body will stay strong through surgery and recovery
Thank you all for your prayers, love and support!!
Monday, October 10, 2016
Arrived in FL
We arrived in FL around 11:00pm last night...had a smooth flight. Chris picked us up and we will stay with him this week.
This morning we walked 3 miles to and from Panera Bread for breakfast. It was a lovely morning... 64, sunny with a little breeze.
On our walk we passed utility workers digging and now discovered the water is shut off. Hoping it will be back on soon.
We need to be at the hospital at 7:00am tomorrow to start the day with getting labs drawn then prepping for the PET scan.
We are so grateful for safe travels last night and praying for good results tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Chemotherapy finished!
Continued healing
Good test results
God will take away any anxious/negative thoughts
Safe travels
That we can be a positive light to all we come in contact with
That God will be glorified in all we say and do
Thank you all for your faithfulness in praying, concern and support for us! We are truly humbled and blessed beyond words! May God richly bless each one!
Psalm 29:11
Friday, September 23, 2016
Another up and down week
Last Sunday we made plans to go to Dad and Mom H. For Dads birthday. Jim decided he felt good enough to go, after visiting with the family and eating he couldn't stay awake any longer.
On Monday he wasn't able to go to work ...was sick and slept most of the day. In the evening he started running a low grade fever but after taking alieve the fever left and he felt better.
The rest of the week went pretty good, was able to work, just felt weak. Jim ran a fever again on Wednesday evening, this time didn't take anything for it and it went away on its own.
Today (Friday) he was sick this morning then went to work at 9:30, came home at noon, took a 2 1/2 hour nap, ate some soup then back to work. When he came home at 5:30 I told him he looked like he was sleep walking. I'm so thankful it's finally the weekend!
His appetite isn't very good right now. He eats but I think it's because he knows he needs to. The feet are pretty much back to normal, now it's the fingers.
We are hoping when he's done with the oral meds on Tuesday these side effects will disappear! It will be nice to have him feeling normal again.
Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
We are trusting God for the unknown, to hold us up and go before us paving the way. May God continue the healing process.
Thursday, September 15, 2016
A rocky week
It's been kind of an up and down week. Jim's feet have hurt pretty much all week...so far no blisters or sores. He stayed home from work yesterday (Wednesday) with being sick on his stomach and then slept quite a bit in the morning. Until afternoon he felt better, just weak.
As he left for work this morning he said he didn't feel the best but ended up getting through the day OK, although he wasn't walking very good when he came in the door.
After supper tonight he sat down in the chair. I asked him if he'd like to put the footrest up as he was dozing off. No, he would be getting up soon...1 1/2 hours later he's still in the same position. I know by now how it goes once he falls asleep...he will be there awhile:)
I'm thankful he was able to go to work today and not be sick on his stomach.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Good report
Last Tuesday was Jim's 3rd (last) cycle of chemo infusion. He will be on the oral chemo for two more weeks.
As I said in the last post his feet had started to hurt... That's still the case.
Dr Khan said today it's a side effect of the oral meds. Although Alieve has given some relief we are hoping it doesn't last another few weeks with needing to be taking the pills that are causing it. It makes me hurt to watch him walk!
His blood counts all looked good today and has gained 1 pound since August 23.
Lord willing we will be flying to Tampa on October 9 for appointments on the 11&13 for a PET scan. If doctors are satisfied with the results they will schedule surgery.
We are so thankful that the bloodwork has stayed good throughout treatments and the side effects have been minimal!
Please continue to pray for good health and healing, preparation to be away from home for an unknown amount of time, safe travels, that the chemo is doing it's job.
Love and blessings to all!
Saturday, September 10, 2016
A remarkably good week
We can hardly believe how well this week went compared to after the first two infusions! The Dr told us in the beginning that till the third infusion came Jim probably wouldn't be able to work because of the chemo making him sick and weak. So we have been pleasantly surprised!
Jim felt a little tired/weak but was able to go to work everyday except Tuesday of the infusion. By the end of the week his feet have started to hurt. Hopefully that won't last long. His appetite has been normal, no nausea at all.
We have been blessed this week to have Jesse come for a few days (we miss you Lindsey, Madison, Macey and Melanie!!). He's helped with some outside work and just hanging out with mom and dad. This morning Jim and Jesse took off for an auction in nappanee. Hmm wonder if they've found any treasures they can't do without.:)
Tuesday Jim will have labs drawn and see the Dr.
Thank you all again for your faithfulness in praying! God is good and blessing us in many ways!
"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me." Psalm 50:15
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Cycle 3
Arrived at the hospital at 8am walked out at 12:30. The counts were good enough to get the chemo...so thankful to stay on schedule!
Jim took an antinausea pill at noon as a preventative and was able to eat lunch and supper with no problems. He took a nap but did not sleep at all like the first two infusions. I could hardly believe it!! He was off to bed for the night at 9.
This morning he went out for a walk, had breakfast and was off to work. Amazing!! We'll see how it goes...
I know so many if you are praying for minimal side effects. Thank you thank you!! God bless you!
Tuesday he will have labs drawn and will see the oncologist.
"With God All things are possible" Matt. 19:26. It doesn't matter how big or small (in our eyes) He's got this!!
Our lives are in His hands and we are trusting him.
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
A rather "normal" week
The couple weeks after cycle two Jim dealt with some side affects, feeling nauseous, food not tasting right and lack of appetite. This past week he finally felt pretty "normal" . Some blisters showed up on his toes but after applying some prescription lotion they are getting better. He has worked all but 2 days since the last cycle. We are thankful!
Shawn, Monica, Emeline and Sylvie made our hearts happy by coming to visit Sunday afternoon and Monday. We went to Silver Beach Monday beating the crowd and heat by going early, left by 1:30... It was getting hot and very crowded by that time. We all enjoyed the sand , cold water and the carousel. Well I should say the girls didn't mind the cold water, the rest of us pretty much went in to our ankles.:)
We are now waiting on labs to make sure he can get cycle 3 of chemo infusion today.
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Labs and Dr visit
Today Jim had labs drawn then saw the Dr. So thankful to report counts are good! I was a little surprised since he hasn't been feeling very well the last few days.
Jim worked yesterday but struggled thru the day and looked pretty pale when he came home. Today he didn't even try to go. The ugly side effects are raising their heads. Dr says it's "chemo fatigue". He's to take it easy and try not to do so much.
The last couple weeks he's been going out in the mornings to do a little running/walking. I hope for his sake he can keep it up but he may need to preserve his energy to get thru the day easier.
Prayer request:
Strength for the day
That appetite would be better and for food to taste good
For the nasty side effects to diminish
Thank you all for your love and support! You are truly a blessing to us. May God bless you in return.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
A little sunshine
These little cards brought smiles to our faces. It means so much to know each person took the time to make a card, write something and pray for Jim! Thank you to Jeanie Hoover and her VBS class!
We are so thankful Jim was able to get his 2ND infusion Tuesday. By the evening he started not feeling so well with nausea and weakness then Wednesday went to work but was soon home again. He spent all day sleeping...waking enough to drink a protein shake and eat some soup.
He went to work this morning, text at noon saying he's staying there for lunch and I still haven't seen him. I was really thinking he would be home for a nap. He can sleep about anywhere so maybe he's sleeping at his desk. :)
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! May God bless each one!
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Cycle #2
Cycle 2 is underway. Arrived at the hospital at 8:00am to have labs drawn. While waiting on results nurse got fluids going to hydrate Jim. Found out he was good to go, then they sent the order to pharmacy for the chemo and had to wait on that for awhile. They got the premeds going for nausea which takes 30 minutes. Once chemo is started it's 2 hours.
Jim passed time with reading/listening to whatever it is he reads/listens to on his phone, ate lunch and took a little nap.
We left the hospital at 1:30. I needed a nap when we got home:)
He was a little drowsy coming home then had a good nap in his chair. So far feels pretty good.
Psalm 29:11
The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.
We are so thankful for good counts today and pray the chemo Is effective this round with minimal side effects.
We know many of you are praying and thinking of us frequently for which we are so blessed and thankful!!
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Labs and Dr visit
Jim had labs drawn before seeing Dr Khan this morning. His white cell count is a little low and needs to come up before the infusion Tuesday. Dr feels like they are recovering so he wants him to continue the oral meds and will get labs again Tuesday morning. If they're still low then he will get a shot to give a boost and hold off a little on the infusion.
Chemo is doing it's job! PTL!! Jim has been eating anything he wants to since last Thursday. Hopefully he can gain a couple of pounds before not feeling so good again.
We are so thankful Jim has overall been feeling good, able to go to work, get out and get some exercise, eating whatever he wants.
Please pray his counts come up so he's able to stay on course with the next cycle Tuesday.
God bless you for your love and prayers!!
Friday, August 5, 2016
A good week
It's been a really good week...actually gotten better as the week went on. Jim has went to work everyday, coming home at noon for some lunch and a nap, then back at it until 5.
Last evening he thought a grilled cheese sandwich sounded good so I made one with just one piece of bread. I told him he's being pretty brave! He got along fine. It's been several weeks since he's had bread.
Today at noon Jim called, he was thinking a hamburger sounded good so off to McDonald's we go. It felt like old times...me picking him up for a quick lunch on a Friday. I know, I know, it's not the healthiest food around:)
I'm thinking the tumor has surely shrunk! PTL!! He hasn't been able to eat meat, bread or this much for quite some time. It's been a couple of days since he's taken the antinausea meds which was probably contributing to him being so drowsy.
I told him since he's feeling so much better that we should go to St Joe this weekend. Hmm...am I jumping the gun a little??
Thank you all for your prayers!! We are so thankful Jim was able to work this week and the nausea went away!
May you all have a blessed weekend.
Trust and faith
I posted this on facebook this week and wanted to share it here.
"For he is the living God and he endures forever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end. He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions."
Daniel 6:26-27
If Daniel could be rescued from the lions, I can be rescued from anything negative trying to attack me. I will trust and have faith in the all knowing and loving God!
Monday, August 1, 2016
A new week
The weekend seemed to go a little better than the end of last week. Jim isn't quite as nauseous and not sleeping quite as much. He has been walking about a mile the last few mornings... It's not the running he's been used to for the last 30+ years but at least he can get out, exercise and get some fresh air.
He went to work this morning, came home at noon, took a 2 hour nap then went back to work until 5. Praying the side effects continue to decrease.
We are so thankful for an understanding employer, coworkers and that Jim's job is 2 minutes away!
When we look back over the years and see how God has brought us to where we are today we are truly in awe! May we continue to trust, knowing his ways are higher than ours.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Uncertainty and Probability
Uncertainty
If one has only read this blog, there hasn't been a ton of information provided but that information, on the surface, seems fairly concrete and straightforward. In the initial post, we confirmed the malignancy. In subsequent posts, you were told Dad was undergoing more tests to determine things like the actual size and whether it had spread to local lymph nodes and/or other areas within the stomach. In the previous post, you were told that it, thankfully, has not spread. He now has a chemo regimen which does to his body what chemo usually does to people's bodies.
What is not apparent from the blog is the amount of uncertainty infused in every step of the whole process, haunting every turn, graying any edge of black and white we may hope for.
Cancer, like most unknowns, is a state of affairs we want to get a better picture of and so we administer tests. The only “known” is that something is wrong. Specifically, there was difficulty eating and perceived anemia. The cause of that, however, remained hidden from view. Every doctor’s consultation and every test then became a means to determine the cause of those issues, to unearth the culprit and detail it in all its complexity. We rule out certain things, assess the possibility of other things, etc. etc., all to gain a clearer picture of a very murky reality.
Dad has undergone many tests by now and, while we do know it’s malignant and are fairly certain it’s stomach cancer and hasn’t spread, we are not certain. And for various reasons, the stage is left undetermined. The family, and those close few who have rode the ups and downs with us over the past couple of weeks, and most poignantly Dad, have found this surprising/confusing/annoying. Why do tests not give us the answer? And when they give us answers, why are the answers never clear-cut? What is the point of a test if it can’t tell us what is going on?
Those readers affected by cancer or other medical unknowns are most likely familiar with this awful combination of momentousness and uncertainty.
A more formal way to frame all of this is the following: 1) we believe there to be a state of affairs that is definite, i.e. there is or is not cancer and that cancer is in some particular stage of growth and 2) we administer the testing of various hypotheses to determine the exact nature of that state of affairs to then know how to adjust our actions accordingly to then treat the issue.
But everything that has happened over the past few weeks does not seem to make sense given 1 and 2. After all the tests, we only know it’s malignant and it’s obstructing the junction of the esophagus and stomach. That’s about it. Why did it take 6 tests to determine the kind of cancer and whether it has spread? Why are they still uncertain about the lymph nodes? And connecting all of this, why won’t they stage the cancer?
Staging
Probability is a subset of mathematics that let’s us make better decisions when the given state of affairs or a future state of affairs is unknown; it is a formal methodology for discussing things that are likely or probable, or unlikely or improbable. In matters of uncertainty, it helps us approximate.
Cancer is certainly a state of affairs that involves unknowns and as such probability helps us think about it. Survival rates are given in terms of probability to help us think about the future state of affairs resulting from cancer. Thinking about survival in terms of probabilities, or rates, is probably more intuitive than thinking about whether the current state of affairs is one involving malignant cancer or not. How could it be that we can only ever assign a probability to the reality of cancer? Either there is cancer or there isn’t! Either it is stomach or it isn’t! Either it’s malignant or it isn’t! And yet, that is what happens. At a certain point, a Dr. takes all the relevant data from tests and consultations, and makes a judgment about the cancer and its stage, only with a particular degree of certainty.
One thing we, and our friends and family, want to know is the stage of the cancer, or how far along the cancer is. But the doctors have been reluctant to classify the stage, even after all these tests. We’ve determined malignancy but we want to know the stage of the cancer because staging the cancer gives us a good idea of the survival rates. But what are stages? Cancer growth isn’t like the half-life of a radioactive isotope which decays with a mathematically determinable consistency. We know cancer grows and we more or less know how it grows but we have not developed a method that lets us accurately determine the rate of that growth down to the individual case.
In determining the stage, or how far along the cancer is, there are 3 variables: the main tumor, the spread to lymph nodes, and the spread to other areas within the body. These variables can be assessed along 9, 6, and 2 values respectively. Once these variables are determined, they are combined to determine the stage, from 0 to 4. But those stages have sub-stages, and in most cases, no particular determination of the individual variables necessitates one stage being determined over another. In other words, whether it has spread to lymph nodes, for example, does not mean it is necessarily stage 1B vs. stage 2A or even 2B. Further, it is also the case that, still thinking about the lymph nodes, whether it has or has not spread does not limit it to one stage. So, one could still have stage 2B cancer regardless of the determination of the lymph node variable, so long as other variables have been assessed at specific values.
All of this is a long way of saying staging is a way to think about the progress of the cancer, but it is messy. We can test along the values of the variables, and we can settle on a stage, but even if we’ve settled on the determination of a particular stage, it is never done so with a great deal of certainty.
Staging is usually thought of as buckets the particular case of cancer is or is not in (stage 1, 2, 3, or 4). But as we’ve seen above, it is much more accurate to think of the growth of cancer on a continuous scale from beginning to late stage. Another way to say this is that our categories (4 stages) do not cleanly map the reality of the growth progress of cancer.
Staging Methodology in Light of Probability
Now I want to talk about probability as a way to help us understand the methodology grounding the judgments involved in assessing the various determinations relevant to cancer. I showed above how messy all the determinations are in the case of stomach cancer, but now I want to put that aside and talk simply about the methodology employed in making judgments in situations involving messy determinations.
In determining when something is X or not, we collect as much data as possible and then determine whether X is the case or not. But usually, collecting data only gets us most of the way there. We conduct tests to measure values of the relevant variables but those only work to better or worse degrees and usually don’t provide conclusive results. And so, after collecting the data, we end up at a point where we say, within a statistical framework at least, we believe X to be the case, with a P-value of .05. Here, P-value can be thought of as the likelihood you’re wrong, or that the test was a false positive. In other words, we could say we are 95% sure X is the case. We are forced to say this because, in this case, all our data, combined with the testing framework employed, only gets us close to knowing whether X is the case or not. Of course, being 95% sure of something is a good place to be. Most of us would bet a lot of money if we were 95% likely to win. But it’s not 100%.
It turns out, a lot of things are like the example above. We measure values and acquire data, but we can only be certain up to a degree. Cancer is paradigmatic of this. Tests can produce false positives. So when doctors are trying to determine what stage a given instance of cancer is, they only ever arrive at those determinations with particular levels of certainty. And let’s keep in mind that staging, at least in the case of stomach cancer, is really the result of a combination of 3 variables, which have up to 98 possible combinations.
The likelihood of a coin coming up heads are 1/2. The likelihood of a coin coming up heads two times in a row are 1/4. So the odds that the tests have gotten the value of each variable correct are small, not only because the individual tests performed only get us an approximate value for a given variable, but also because we are compounding the judgments of multiple tests of multiple variables. Moreover, as we saw above, almost no one value for a particular variable restricts the staging, and the values of the particular variables are only loosely correlated/somewhat independent.
So if we think back to that continuous scale I mentioned above, suppose the 4 stages are buckets grouping final values from 1-100 on that scale, i.e. values 1-25 are for stage 1, 25-50, for stage 2, etc. Now, if all the values of the individual variables result in a final value of 15, then, in this hypothetical methodology, we feel very confident it’s in stage 1. But, if the final values total 24, we can still say it’s stage 1, but we leave open the possibility it’s actually stage 2, our tests just didn’t give us enough data to accurately assess that to be the case. And I’d hope by now you also understand that me even talking about the staging of cancer as a bucketing of a continuous scale is really just a heuristic and that the distinctions between “stages” are never as clear-cut as going from values of 25 to 26, if only for the fact that the values we’ve arrived at are only believed to be the case with greater or lesser degrees of certainty. In other words, the variables used to help determine the stage have a lot of grey, and the boundaries between the stages themselves have a lot of grey.
Bayesian Probability as a Way to Understand Cancer Testing
My explication above of staging and the methodology that allows a stage to be determined has shown that staging is complicated but the question still remains: why are we testing if the tests can’t help us actually stage the cancer? What are the tests doing if not that? Our common sense thinking about probability leaves us in the pickle of not being able to reconcile 1 and 2 from above; there is a definite state of affairs, and we test to determine that state of affairs, but those tests are not giving us clear answers.
Bayesian probability is another way to think about drawing conclusions in statistical matters. Common sense thinking would say we are testing for X or not X and so a test is either going to confirm or reject X. Bayesian methodology, on the other hand, assigns an initial probability to X and the result of a given test is read in light of that initial probability.
Suppose you came off the street and took a test for cancer and the test came back positive. Also suppose that particular test produces a false positive at a rate of 1 out of every 1000 tests and only 1 in 1000 people have that particular cancer. In this case, WHEN a test happens to say you have cancer, it’s actually just as likely that the test was a false positive as it is that you have cancer. That is because you took a test that has a 1 in 1000 chance of producing a false positive and it was also the case in this situation that 1 in 1000 people have this sort of cancer. But this is why PRIOR information helps us read test results. In a Bayesian framework, if you’re a totally random person coming off the street, with no prior symptoms or history associated with that cancer, as would be in the case above in this paragraph, and the test comes back positive, you really have a 50/50 chance of it accurately diagnosing cancer versus being a false positive, WHEN the test is positive. But in a traditional framework, the 1 in a 1000 chance of having cancer is not factored in when thinking about the fact that the test accurately picks out cancer 999 times out of a 1000.
But of course, most of us don’t take test for cancer randomly. There are usually some symptoms that lead us and doctors to decide to head down the gauntlet of tests required to determine the existence of, and then nature of, the cancer. In my Dad’s case, he had been anemic for awhile, with iron supplements providing little help, and then began to have difficulty in eating.
So why all the tests? Well, tests, once performed, provide us with a better prior probability to then read the next test. And here, this is fairly common sense. If you have 10 tests all saying you don’t have cancer, and the 11th test says you have cancer, you might as well throw it out because it is so much more likely the 11th test is wrong than that the 10 tests are wrong. But Bayesian thinking provides a rigorous framework to reach that conclusion.
Traditional probability would say the same thing but it would be much less certain because it always assumes a purely blind state of affairs. So in that case, you always have a 1 in 1000 chance that the test was a false positive because in traditional probability, you’re always in a random universe. The Bayesian framework does not have a random universe; it always assumes the field is slanted one way. In a Bayesian framework, you could throw the 11th test out even though it’s only a 1 in a 1000 chance it was a false positive. Again, it is because your prior probability is so strong, that the 1 in a 1000 of a false positive is much more likely than the odds that your prior probability is wrong. On the other hand, traditional probability would weigh the initial 10 tests against the fact that a positive test is correct 999 times out of 1000.
It turns out, to spite all this abstract stuff above, this is exactly the framework one doctor used to talk about the potential of a particular test coming back positive. The “final” test Dad underwent down here in Tampa was two parts: 1) a scope of the tumor and stomach, and 2) a sampling of the stomach that’d go off to the lab to see if the tumor was emitting entities in an attempt to spread.
After the test was performed, the doctor said the scope looked so good (there was no sign the tumor was emitting entities), she didn’t need to perform the sampling. And then, and this was the shocking part, she said: “and I wouldn’t know what to do if the sampling came back positive.” Common sense probability would say: What?! If a test comes back positive for the tumor attempting to spread, and it’s extremely unlikely that that test produces a false positive, wouldn’t a positive result for that test be good evidence that it is in fact emitting?!?
But under a Bayesian framework, her thinking was on solid ground. She was saying, in the very unlikely chance that the test would come back positive, it wouldn’t actually be good evidence that it is attempting to spread, GIVEN all the other evidence she had, and regardless of how unlikely a false positive would be.
And I’d like to point out that this isn’t some abstract thought experience in a text book, or some line of thought without consequence. Her approach led to the very real real-world result of not performing that 2nd part of the test.
And this is where we see the power of probability.
We are limited beings, both in space and in time. Some things are certain, others less so. Where we would like to see black and white, we often are left with grey. Empirical work, gathering evidence, is one way to break down some of those limitations and define a few more of those edges. But even gathering evidence can only go so far and so we use statistics to push those limits out even further, if ever so slightly, and to maybe even remove a bit of the grey in the world, if only occasionally.
Dad started Chemo earlier this week. The stage of his cancer is still unknown.
Friday, July 29, 2016
Special friends
God certainly has blessed us with special friends/ family (and their dog) in our lives!!
Jim is sleeping in his chair and has no idea the lot is getting mowed. He worked today until 11:00. I'm sure this weekend will be a whole lot of resting going on.
May you all have a blessed weekend.
Thursday, July 28, 2016
Rough couple of days
Chocolate protein shake with peanut butter, banana and avocado that's what's for dinner. That's if he wakes up to drink it:(
Jim went to work yesterday morning, came home for lunch and stayed. He's really struggling with being nauseated with some vomiting and feeling weak. He never made it to work today...his chair has felt pretty good with a lot of sleeping going on. I picked up another med this evening that hopefully will help.
Please pray for these awful side effects to disappear.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Day 1 of chemo
We arrived at the hospital by 8:15. First on the agenda was to get some education about chemo, then to Dr Khan's office to pick up chemo pills, and back to the infusion room. Jim was hooked up to meds and there we sat , drip, drip, drip until the bags were empty.
We got home by 2:30, ate some lunch, then it was time for a rest.
Jim was a little nauseous this evening but took a pill, had a protein shake and feels better.
Thanks for popping in a little today Katrina!
We are so grateful for your many thoughts and prayers today! You bless us beyond words!
Pray Jim feels well enough to go to work tomorrow and the rest of the week.
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Another step towards healing
"Lord I need you oh I need you every hour I need you..."
Jim fell asleep listening to his music. I'm so thankful he finds comfort and peace in songs! Tears...
Friday the port was put in and we were home around 11:30. He hasn't felt very good the last couple of days which is not too surprising with being under anesthesia 6+ times in the last few weeks and pain meds last week.
Yesterday he couldn't eat much and took numerous naps throughout the day.
This morning we went for a walk and now after a protein shake and shower it's naptime.
There's a change in chemo start date. It will be Tuesday instead of Monday.
Prayer request:
That chemo side effects will stay to a minimum.
Chemo will shrink the tumor.
That we will not let fears and anxiety have a part in our lives...only peace and grace.
We are so thankful for all you prayer warriors! God's blessings on each one for your love and support!
Friday, July 22, 2016
Beautiful sunrise
Oh Lord oh Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth! I read this in the psalms this morning and then was blessed with this beautiful painting.
We are at the hospital to have the port put in.
Please keep us in your prayers as we take each step for healing.
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Life changes
But in the same house with the same smells, furniture, and people, there is an unmistakable sense of business and urgency, which is rather foreign and frankly not all that Hooverlike. It's impossible to miss the neat stacks of forms, bills, and reminders to call various 800 numbers covering the kitchen counter. "Clinic." "Anesthesiologist." "Medical foundation." "Financial counselor." On the end table next to the recliner: more stacks. On pads on the computer desk: more phone numbers. It's a project.
Dad comes home for lunch but only manages to get down half a cup of mac and cheese (now laced with eggs for extra protein) before abruptly stopping to mix a baking soda water chaser and dispose the remaining contents of his plate. He bounces back to work with a chilled chocolate Boost in hand for later. A couple weeks ago he was eating ribs, but there seems to be less room now. It is time for treatment.
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
The port is to be put in Friday at St Joe med center. It seems the surgeons in our area all have a busy week so couldn't get it done earlier:)
Chemo will start Monday.
Some of you have ask about Jim working and eating. Yes he has been going to work when he doesn't have appointments or tests to do. Overall he feels pretty good. He needs to eat small amounts at a time and several times a day as there's not much room in the stomach with the tumor taking up space. Bread and meat is about the only things right now he can't eat. He needs calories and protein to prepare his body for chemo when/if he's not able to eat much. The nutritionist told us to get creative with protein drinks and milkshakes.:)
Oncologist appointment
Jim had labs done to start with then we met with the Dr. Talked about the treatment and what we need to get done before that starts.
This afternoon we go for an Echo.
The nurse is working on setting up an appointment with a surgeon to put the port in and the chemo schedule. Dr wants to start chemo Friday.
We are looking at 3 cycles of chemo (63 days) scans, surgery and another 3 cycles of chemo.
This battle is God's... We will let him fight it!!
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
Psalm 62:1-2
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Friday, July 15, 2016
Great news
Jim had his laparoscopy done today. The Dr was very pleased to tell us the stomach wall looks good with no cancer cells beyond the initial tumor. We look to start chemo as soon as possible.
We are spending the night with Chris in Clearwater tonight then fly home tomorrow afternoon.
We are so thankful for the many kind people that made this difficult week manageable! Also for all you prayer warriors...you are a true blessing to us!
Prayer request:
For safe travels home
That the cancer stays confined to the tumor.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Today's news
This morning we had the consult with the surgeon that will do the laparoscopy tomorrow scheduled for 10:15. She will check for cancer cells around the area and stage the tumor. She decided along with us not to put in the feeding tube as Jim is still able to eat and it can easily get infected, leak etc... If at a later date he needs it we can have a Dr in our area put it in.
The tumor is 13 cm long. It is mostly in the stomach and has grown up into the esophagus a little.
Please be praying for tomorrow that all cancer cells are only in the tumor and have not spread to the stomach walls.
A huge praise is the Dr's have went above and beyond to get us worked in in a short amount of time!!! We have been extremely blessed to have connections to make this all happen!!
Prayer request
Our original plan was to return back home on Saturday. Since the diagnosis was changed from esophageal to stomach cancer that meant a different surgeon than originally planned. Yesterday we were told we couldn't meet with that Dr until Monday and procedure Tuesday or Friday. We didn't really like that news but are willing to do what we need to for getting the best care.
This morning we got a call...we are meeting with the surgeon at 1:00 today and possibly procedure tomorrow to put in a feeding tube and do a staging laparoscopy.
Today is scheduled procedure for endoscopy ultrasound to look at lymph nodes and depth of tumor at 3:30.
Prayer requests:
We can get all testing done this week.
Clarity and wisdom for the Dr's.
Our family will continue to have peace and grace throughout this journey.
Praise:
Several Dr's from different specialties at elkhart had a meeting this morning and after looking at all the images and reports have come to the the same conclusion as the Dr's at Moffitt. We are thankful they are on the same page!
God is definitely going before us paving the way!
Encouragement
God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
The God who leads us is ever faithful. That’s why you and I can confidently carry out His plan, even when it surprises us.
- Charles Stanley